I realise that I haven't written on my blog for a good few months now. Once I had started my second year of university, I realised that it wasn't going to be as easy as I thought. In my head, I was raring to go and ready to actually kick start my blog and try and make it as successful as I have always wanted. But I had underestimated just how much work I would have to do to make myself like I was actually getting somewhere with my studies.
I have never been good at organising my time. I was hoping that my second year would be different and that I would manage things a lot better, but man was I wrong. It's not that I couldn't cope with the amount of work I had, it's the fact that a lot of the time, I just didn't have much motivation.
I have to admit, at one point I felt like I wanted to drop out and start all over again. Then I thought: "What else would I want to do?". The answer to that = nothing. I couldn't see myself going straight into a full time job. I wouldn't want to. I think the reality is that I'm not fully ready to grow up yet. I still want to spend a lot of time with my friends and my boyfriend, whilst also learning about something that I enjoy doing. I also wouldn't want to just get any random job. I want to know that I will enjoy my career so much that it won't even feel like a job most of the time.
Over these past few months, I have been wanting to write a post on here several times, but not really knowing what to say. I don't just want to talk about what everyone else is, just for the sake of it. I want to know that what I am writing is good, and that someone, somewhere, thinks so too.
Yes this has gotten rather deep, but I feel like I needed to vent my feelings on a platform where not many of my friends know about, if any. As an incredibly insecure person, I feel as though I am being judged 24/7 with everything that I post online. I now only really use Facebook as a place to talk to my friends and share things with them whilst I am away from home. I post on twitter more often, but not too much.
I hate making new years resolutions, as I have found that a lot of the time, they aren't really very realistic for me as a person. But what I have done, is thought of a few changes that I want to make in my life in general, to make these goals seem more reachable:
- Share my feelings more.
- Be more confident.
- Be healthier.
- Take control of my anxiety- BE HAPPY.
I thought it would be a good idea to get these down now, so that I can look back and see if I have actually made changes in my life to accomplish them.
Anyway, I hope that everyone has had a lovely Christmas and a wonderful New Years.
I feel like this is just the beginning for this blog now. I am more in control of my life, and I can't wait to see where it is heading.
Thank you for reading,