Relationships Can Be Hard

Hello there.

Today I wanted to talk about a very big part of my life. Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 2 years now, but our relationship isn’t as simple as a lot of peoples’.

We met in our first year of university. He was living with one of my oldest friends, Becky, that moved away when I was younger. Becky and I had always stayed in contact, so we re-kindled our friendship and became basically inseparable. Since I was spending a lot of time with her, I was also spending a lot of time with my now boyfriend, Mathew (yes, his name is spelt with one ‘t’). We became very good friends and eventually, over the Christmas break, we decided we would give us a try.  From then on, we spent a lot of time together, and when it came to the Easter break, it was very strange. Going from spending so much time together to nothing for two weeks was actually quite hard. Which felt strange, and that’s when I knew that it wouldn’t just be a ‘thing’ between us.

Our first photo together as a couple...n'aw

When it came to summer, we knew that we wouldn’t be able to see each other every week as he is originally from Manchester, and I live in Hull. I think we saw each other around every 2-3 weeks and it wasn’t too hard due to us having similar working patterns. This was along with skyping every couple of days.

This playsuit was my fave and it has BROKEN!!

At the start of our second year at university, we were actually living together. Whenever I told anyone I was living with my boyfriend after getting together 8 months previously, they think it’s a little strange; BUT it wasn’t planned. We had decided to live together along with two other of our friends before Christmas, before we got together. Living together was basically what we were doing during first year anyway, as I spent most of my time with my best friend in the same flat. It was fun, I got to see him whenever I wanted without having to brave the outside world. When he was being annoying (like boys are), or if I just needed my own space, I had my own bedroom too. The best part of living together so soon is that we learnt everything about each other, got to know the others habits and understood them truly and completely. There will obviously still be things that we don’t know about to each other yet, but we only have that to look forward to. I suppose living together early on in our relationship tested the strength of us as a couple. If we couldn’t cope with it for just 9 months, then we weren’t going happen in the long run.

One of my favourite, yet most blurry picture of us ft. Mayo the polar bear

Somehow we did it. We both even said that there aren’t many people you can spend time with 24/7 and not get annoyed with them or a bit bored. But this didn’t happen with us. The most comforting thing for me was having someone there all of the time to talk to if I needed to (well I had 2 people, Mathew and Becky). This helped a lot as I do have anxiety and panic attacks, so I knew I had at least one person there for me just about all of the time. But that’s a story for another day.

Mathew with long hair looks funny lol

After our second year finished, we went our separate ways again, trying to see each other every other week, which was quite easy during summer, as Mat didn’t have a job and I worked weekends. The hardest part came when Mat started his placement. We’re both taking a year out of our studies to get relevant experience to our courses (as are many of my friends at uni). During my year out, which I am currently on, I am getting some voluntary experience whilst still keeping down a part-time job so I am still earning. Whereas Mat has a full-time paid placement in a town not far from Nottingham, which is the same sort of distance from me than Manchester was, so there’s not much difference there. The only problem with this is that as he has a 9-5 job, Monday to Friday, and my job is mainly weekends. 

It has become increasingly hard to be able to plan when we’re going to see each other due to my job, so I am currently looking for something better suited to me and my life.

I must have said something funny...

If I’m really honest though, I wouldn’t change a thing about our relationship. Not seeing each other as much as we’d like to makes the time we do have together more special. I am seeing him this weekend as it his birthday. Seeing each other less also makes it more exciting when we see each other. Right now I cannot contain my excitement, as it has been over three weeks since I saw him last.

No I don’t have the easiest or most normal relationship, but I suppose normal would be boring.

Thanks for reading! Please do leave any comments below if you are also in a long distance relationship, I would love to hear any stories.

Paige xo

Long time no...post

Hello there.

As you may notice, I haven’t posted anything on my blog in quite a while, and, honestly, I have no good reason. Since I’ve been at university, my motivation has seems to have plummeted and I haven’t posted on here for around six months now. Considering I do a Journalism degree, you would have thought I would have been motivated to post more often. But it appears to have done the opposite. Don’t get me wrong, I still love writing. I always have done and most likely always will; it’s something that comes quite naturally to me.

Anyway, although I have been a Journalism student for the past two years, I feel like I need something more than just a degree to get me where I want to be in the future. I am currently on a year out from my studies to get some relevant voluntary experience so I don’t JUST have a degree at the end of my studies. Yes, a degree is great, but these days, employers look for experience in whatever field you’re going into. I have already been into my local newspaper as part of my voluntary work, but have found that it wasn’t really for me. Although I love writing, I don’t really like writing the news, and that’s just about all you write about in a NEWSpaper. 90% of the time, I feel like news is either boring or negative, and I need to be writing about something that I would enjoy reading myself.

I thought this year would be a good time to also get back into writing on my blog. Although the newspaper wasn’t for me, I didn’t want to give up on something I love, so what better place to share the stuff I do love, than here. I’m going to be writing about things I care about and basically my everyday happenings. I want to make this blog somewhere that I can document my journey and personal experiences (not to sound cheesy).

The past few times I have tried to get back into writing on here, I have pressured myself a lot to try and write a certain number of posts a week, which is what I think made me less motivated. So from now on I will be writing whenever I want to and not when I feel like I should be.

Thanks for reading!

Paige xo

BOOK REVIEW: Ketchup Clouds

Secrets can save your life. And 15-year-old Zoe Collins knows exactly how to keep her secrets, secret. But Zoe's isn't just any old secret.

Zoe seems to be your average school girl with dreams to become a writer and a crush on a few boys. But these boys turn out to be brothers, one who she happens to have murdered.

As the lies are eating her up, Zoe hears of a man, Stuart Harris, on death row in America that is not unfamiliar to murder and deception. Being no stranger to the world of writing, she picks up a pen and tells her story.

With the book revealing the letters she wrote, ‘Zoe’ does not actually use her real name or address so she cannot be traced; both of which are revealed when Stuart is dead and gone.

Only at the end of the novel do we find out which of the brothers has died, with there being constant mystery throughout.

Ketchup Clouds, by Annabel Pitcher, is fundamentally classed as a female children’s book, but with the gripping story lines that a lot of people can easily relate to, this book could be enjoyed by multiple age groups.

I absolutely LOVED this book. I bought it almost 2 years ago, so I decided it was time to actually make use of it. It was finished within a few days and I could not put it down. I think it helps that these kind of books are my favourite.

Thanks for reading!

Paige x

2016

Sometimes life can get a bit much and you just have to take a step back. And I have tried to do just this.

I realise that I haven't written on my blog for a good few months now. Once I had started my second year of university, I realised that it wasn't going to be as easy as I thought. In my head, I was raring to go and ready to actually kick start my blog and try and make it as successful as I have always wanted. But I had underestimated just how much work I would have to do to make myself like I was actually getting somewhere with my studies.

I have never been good at organising my time. I was hoping that my second year would be different and that I would manage things a lot better, but man was I wrong. It's not that I couldn't cope with the amount of work I had, it's the fact that a lot of the time, I just didn't have much motivation.

I have to admit, at one point I felt like I wanted to drop out and start all over again. Then I thought: "What else would I want to do?". The answer to that = nothing. I couldn't see myself going straight into a full time job. I wouldn't want to. I think the reality is that I'm not fully ready to grow up yet. I still want to spend a lot of time with my friends and my boyfriend, whilst also learning about something that I enjoy doing. I also wouldn't want to just get any random job. I want to know that I will enjoy my career so much that it won't even feel like a job most of the time.

Over these past few months, I have been wanting to write a post on here several times, but not really knowing what to say. I don't just want to talk about what everyone else is, just for the sake of it. I want to know that what I am writing is good, and that someone, somewhere, thinks so too.

Yes this has gotten rather deep, but I feel like I needed to vent my feelings on a platform where not many of my friends know about, if any. As an incredibly insecure person, I feel as though I am being judged 24/7 with everything that I post online. I now only really use Facebook as a place to talk to my friends and share things with them whilst I am away from home. I post on twitter more often, but not too much.

I hate making new years resolutions, as I have found that a lot of the time, they aren't really very realistic for me as a person. But what I have done, is thought of a few changes that I want to make in my life in general, to make these goals seem more reachable:

• Share my feelings more.

It sounds weird, but as a shy person, I don't really tell people what I'm thinking a lot of the time. Sometimes I even feel like I have to hold back from my boyfriend and my best friend, which I shouldn't. I get scared very easily that I will be judged by them, yet they are the closest people to me.

• Be more confident.

This one's a bit cliche, right? My whole life I have felt like I've lived in the shadow of my friends. Since starting university, I have gained so much more confidence, but since the start of my second year, I feel like it has been knocked a bit. I need to learn to care less about what other think about me.

• Be healthier.

Another cliche 'resolution', I know. I do eat pretty well whilst at university (yep, surprising), but I'm going to make sure I am even stricter on my relationship with food. Also, I have had a gym membership since September, and lets just say that I haven't really gotten my money's worth yet.

• Take control of my anxiety- BE HAPPY.

I have struggled with anxiety for a number of years, but never really felt like I have been in full control of it. Some people think that you can just switch it off, but it can really affect your day-to-day life and they just can't see that. It is a mental health issue that a lot of people do not understand. I am trying to make my life more stress-free, which will help a lot with this. (I will probably be writing a full post on this point).

I thought it would be a good idea to get these down now, so that I can look back and see if I have actually made changes in my life to accomplish them.

Anyway, I hope that everyone has had a lovely Christmas and a wonderful New Years.

I feel like this is just the beginning for this blog now. I am more in control of my life, and I can't wait to see where it is heading.

Thank you for reading,

Paige xo

Tips for starting university

Hello there!

It's coming to that time of year where people are heading back to school, college, and university; so I thought I'd share my own tips for starting a university!

I'm soon to be starting my second year at Sheffield Hallam, and I know almost everyone that goes to university says this, but it has been the best time of my life (so far). It's only been a year but I feel like I have grown so much as a person since starting.

Without further ado, here are a few tips when it comes to starting university (including some photos from my first year)...

Make a list of everything you need

When I first started to try and organise everything that I wanted and needed to take to university with me, I was a bit of a mess. I'm not a very organised person to start with, but I realised I actually needed to be at this point in time. I made multiple different lists for different categories; like bedroom stuff, and more beauty stuff I needed, food I wanted and kitchen utensils.

My best friend Becky

I've never been one for making lists to help stay organised, but since I was moving out for the first time, I figured I should at least be prepared for it. This also put my parents mind at ease if I knew everything that I needed to be taking with me.

Also, it helps to look at what accommodation you are staying in and find out what utilities they have so you don't end up with more than one thing of everything. Plus there are usually groups on Facebook to find your new flat mates if you don't know who you're going to be sharing with, as you can discuss who will bring what for the kitchen/communal area for the same reason.

When making these lists, go through them after you've finished and ask yourself, 'Will I actually need this?', as some of the time, the answer will be no. After my first year, when I went home the boxes of uni stuff sat in a room in my house untouched all summer. OOPS.

Budget well

Freshers bar crawl

Everyone says this, but honestly it is so important. I was pretty good (if I do say so myself) at budgeting. But when you first get your student loan and you see all of those numbers it's a bit overwhelming; but remember that A LOT of that will be going straight back out soon enough to pay for your accommodation.

It's normal to want to go a bit mad during freshers week; going out every night and drinking and enjoying meeting new people, but it can take it's toll. Last year I didn't go out every night as it was also nice to have nights in with my new flat mates and just chill and watch a film whilst get to know them. And personally, I don't think freshers week is all it's hyped up to be. It's nice to sit in and order a takeaway and just drink with new friends too.

ANYWAY, back onto money. Although it may seem a good idea to spend a lot of money on freshers week, it's a good idea to set aside some money especially for it as it can get quite pricey; especially when buying event tickets.

Throughout the rest of the year, because of how little student loan I had left after paying for my flat, I had to try and budget at about £30 a week, which is definitely doable if you don't plan on going out every night of the week. But it is also worth looking into getting a student bank account with an overdraft to help you along the way. I'm personally with Santander because you get £1500 interest free overdraft and a free railcard (which can save A LOT of money).

Be confident

I know, easier said than done right? Unless you're a naturally confident person of course, unlike me. I've always struggled with self-confidence, and even acting like I'm confident. But when I was thrown into the deep end with having to live with 4 complete strangers, you just have to be yourself and have them take you for who you are. It's a time to be who you want to be and reinvent yourself without any expectations from people at home.

Me and my friend got bored...

I was also lucky enough to be in the same accommodation as my best friend that moved away from my home town when I was little (although we still kept in contact, and are still best friends). This helped me A LOT, as it helped me make more friends through her and become more confident with meeting new people. She was the one to help build my confidence, as well as a couple of my other really close friends, one now being my boyfriend.

I now have a small group of really amazing people that I can call my friends, just because I tried to forget about what they thought of me. I'd just met them, so who cares if they didn't like me? There are plenty of other people that you will meet throughout your time at university, whether it be in your accommodation or on the course you're studying. You meet SO many new people during your first few weeks, it's quite overwhelming. I met some people that I have never really spoken to since, but I don't really miss them because I didn't know them and didn't grow any sort of feelings towards them; but it all adds to the experience.

ENJOY IT

Christmas tree on a budget

Although university is mainly for higher education and getting a degree in your desired field, you have to give yourself time to just enjoy it. Yes it is important to study and hand in all of your assignments on time, but it is also important to have a lot of fun along the way. 

A good way to be able to do both is to organise your time effectively. Look at your timetable and figure out the best times to study; this could be between lectures and seminars, or this could be on any day off that you have when everyone else if your flat is at university, which means no distractions. Personally, I found it a lot easier to study in the library in the quiet sections as I could still listen to my own music, but have no distractions and temptations with my friends around me.

If you're not enjoying it or keeping up with the work, ask for help. There is a big leap from college to university, with the added pressure of being away from friends and family, so don't be ashamed to admit you're struggling a bit.


Leave a comment of where you're starting university this month, or if you have any extra tips for those who are!

Thanks for reading!

Paige x

V Festival

Hello there!

Last week I attended my first ever festival; V Festival.

Whenever I told someone that I had never been to a festival before, their instant reaction would be something of: "WHAT!?!?", so I thought it was about time I changed that. I'm not saying I went because of what others thought, I went because I wanted to experience something new and exciting, especially because I haven't been on holiday this year.

After looking at a lot of different festivals, I felt like V Fest was the right one for me due to the kind of music genres that was going to be there.

I only went with one person, my best friend Becky. Some people go in huge groups, but I'm quite glad I didn't for my first one, as it felt more of a personal thing and I didn't have the pressure of a big group to do things as me and Becky are pretty similar.

We have different music tastes in some aspects but we both enjoyed seeing people we wouldn't have gone to see ourselves. 

Here are a few pictures from the weekend...

Setting up the stage

Lawson

The Kooks

Kodaline

Kodaline

The Script

The Script

Calvin Harris

Seann Walsh

The Comedy tent

Jess Glynne

Labrinth

Chvrches

Tom Jones

Olly Murs AKA the love of my life

Olly

Olly

One of the very healthy meals we ate...

Having a bit of a struggle

My highlights of the festival had to be seeing The Script, who I have wanted to see live FOREVER, Kodaline, who I have only just got into in the past 6 months but they were INCREDIBLE, and Olly Murs, who I have seen before, but each time he gets better and better. May I add that there was only one person infront of me behind the barrier for Olly and I was so close I could have died (but I didn't, or I'd have missed him perform).

I would LOVE to go again next year, but at the same time I want to experience something different. Also, my poor student problems will be one of the things that will sway me either way when the time comes to buy tickets.

Have you been to a festival this year? Let me know in the comments!

Thanks for reading!

Paige x

A Fresh Start

Hello there!

I decided it was time to sort my blog out and get back into a routine of updating regularly, without putting too much pressure on myself. To be completely honest, I have never been very good with updating every week with new content.

I always say this to myself, but it IS going to be different this time, and I am going to get into a routine to help me become more productive. I have never been very organised in college and school; but I am not going into my second year of university and I really need to sort myself out.

By doing this, I have decided to completely delete all of my old blog posts (I feel like I forced myself to write them, and that it wasn't my true voice coming through). As I am studying Journalism at university, I have learnt a lot about writing and finding your own voice, and I feel like I am finally discovering mine.

I still have a long way to go with discovering my own style, but that's all part of learning, and as long as I do learn from it, then I'm doing something right.

SO, this is the beginning of something new for me, and I am excited to see where it takes me. 

I have some ideas for new posts already, starting with a post on V Festival, which I recently attended, and a few posts on university as it is coming up to freshers week all over the country!

From now on, I am going to be writing about what I WANT, rather than what I feel like I should be writing about. I will be doing it for me and nobody else, but if I do happen to gain some people who do like to read my posts along the way, then that is a massive bonus!

I would love to hear any suggestions on what I could write about, and if I like the idea, I will give it a go.

Thanks for reading,

Paige x